Wednesday, 21 July 2010


Aight ( Alright ) guys and girls. Me went to have a listening test today.

Was wicked man. Firstly, I had the medical, to check everything was in order. I still have my meat and potatoes so that’s the most important thing.

Next, was the listening test. I had to look at this TV, that looked like 50 years old. This guy appeared on the screen and I thought ‘Youse for real man?’ He looked something out of Jackanory. Man,.. I’m 41 years old, not 4!

Anyway, he starts moving his mouth, only there ain’t no sound. Jeez, I had to lip-read this guy and repeat, what I thought he said to me. This guy needed to go on a deaf awareness course, he weren’t not talking sense! My score on this was 27% , which the lady thinks was pretty good.

Next up was the same test, but with sound. Each ear was tested. I did wicked in these tests, scoring 70% in each ear.

Then things were to get a lot harder. I had to listen to sounds without no face. Each ear was tested separately before both ears were used together. It were well hard, I did so bad that I needed to go back to school. I got 0% in these tests! Straight up, I ain’t kidding you…0%. Does that mean I can get a job in McDonalds or something?

The lady says, I lip-read to live, man. Too right, I do. Everyday I look at rubber lips to keep it real, I'm dissing it big style. She says this CI will be like having a new baby, only without the contractions. A baby? me ain't having a baby. Oh shit, was this the maternal ward I was in?

Ha ha, had you there didn't I? Respect man..respect. Nope, this is where they fit you up big style. Ain't pulling no punches here.

Big up Yaself (Ali G speak)


  1. lol sooo funny but its true love the attitude !!

  2. AnonymousJuly 22, 2010

    Oh and the fun begins! Have they shown you any hardware yet? Funny man!

  3. Hi there, yes, I've seen Med-el, Cochlear and AB.

    I will write about that at some point..

  4. AnonymousJuly 24, 2010

    So, ya got da software. Now ya gets the hardware. Then ya gets to dance. Big time!