Hey check out the signature on my head..
That is the workings of my CI surgeon. No more hearing aid for me in that ear, I am now part of the ever growing CI brotherhood and Jelly tot brigade.
I must have made an impression on the NHS, because they gave me a 5 star stay at a private hospital. With my own room along with all mod cons, Lenny Henry would have gone green with envy. They wasted no time working on me at all. My room was a hive of activity, nurses and surgeon all coming in to see the man who wanted to be the next Buzz Light year.
Staff nurse kept me on my toes, asking me all sorts of questions. From dentures to loose teeth, I had to do a double take and tell her that it’s my ear I wanted doing, not my mouth,.. just procedure she replied.
I was then asked to put on the dress and kinky socks. The problem with this dress is that every time you have a call of nature, you have to lift the dress up and sit like a girl would do, so that is sex discrimination if you ask me.
Sister nurse came in and said that I will going in the next thirty minutes. All kinds went through my mind then. I started pacing the room and getting hyped up to the tune of Rocky playing in my head. I did some ghost boxing and with that dress on, sure must have looked funny as hell.
Then the call comes, time to get into bed and let them wheel me down to theatre. Two guys hooked me up to a machine that had a huge syringe. A guy started pressing some buttons and the machine fired up. At this point one guy looked at me and said 'you Ok'? I felt my vision bounce, I knew what was coming so.. I just closed my eyes and went to sleep with a smile on my face.
Two hours later I am woken up to the sight of two nurses fussing over me. A huge bandage on my head and hey presto it’s been done!
Surgeon sees me and says the op was a success with full insertion of electrodes.
I looked at him and smiled.
Ain't life beautiful?