CI is for life, not just for Christmas.

Two months on, life as a cyborg is good, but I've had moments when I felt my CI behaved like a jelly tot stuck to my head.

A CI is for life, you cannot ask for a receipt and take it back to Toys' r 'us for a refund. Nope, you end up a computer, and a walking computer at that. It's a big step up from your old fuddy duddy hearing aid. When you’ve out used the manky aid, then it's truly time to consider making that leap of faith to cyborg world.

Cyborg world consists of maps, rehab, maps and more rehab. You've also got to have a sense of humour, cause they will be moments when you’re thinking your progress has stalled and you've gone from a hare to a tortoise.

The last week, my CI has been a pain in the butt. First up, speech got harder to understand then, whenever I cranked up the volume I got distortion. With IDR 80, music is good, but for speech the jury was out on that.

Thankfully, I was able to arrange an emergency appointment yesterday at the CI centre for a tune up. I am now on more volume and also have one slot on CV medium IDR70 100% T-Mic. I’m trying CV again cause I found noisy places a nightmare and struggled to understand speech. The audie, ran some tests and concluded I am hearing very well, especially in the high pitches.

I still have my music program at IDR80 and a program for the loop. As it happened, I listened to music via my mobile and loop on the way back from hospital,... it's good. Loop program is set at IDR 60 F120.

I can also use the loop program for making calls, but need to get a blue tooth loop for that.

My mobile is one of them Android phones, HTC Wildfire. I can hear well with it, in fact I spoke to two people last night and goes to show you that I am doing alright. I do find female voices easier to understand than males voices. In time though, I should be fine with both.

I’ve also discovered that when I dry my hair with a towel, my head starts buzzing on the implant side. It’s static building up, the hairs on me head stick up, a strange feeling I have to say. I have to allow the charge to decrease before putting on the processor, otherwise I’d be nuked. Lol

The old magnet is also prone to leaving my head whenever I go near anything metal. Imagine what a nightmare it would be if you’re a mechanic with a CI? Under the bonnet, the CI would end up stuck under an old Robin reliant. The CI is an occupational hazard, we cyborgs have to do a risk assessment wherever we go.

We also have a dry box which the processor goes in every night to suck out any moisture, it picks up on during the day. The dry box has special granules that need to go in the oven regularly to keep them yellow. So along with your pizza, garlic bread and the like, we chuck our granules in too. Lol

My tinnitus, which I found a nightmare to live with has gone in the implant ear. My ear has more useful things to listen to, so there’s no need to make up any noise. My other ear however does get it, cause it is not doing anything and I need a CI in that ear now.

But thanks to our good old NHS system we adults are only allowed one. Whereas, children can have two! That’s age discrimination period. I mean you wouldn’t say to a double amputee, you can only have one false leg and ask them to hobble about on that would you?? the world is bonkers.

Having half a head of hearing is better than nowt mind. But with only one side hearing, you can’t always tell where sound is coming from. I have seen how hilarious this can be. In a shop I saw two deaf blokes. One bloke called for John who was in another aisle. John had one hearing aid, and could hear his name being called, but didn’t have a clue where his mate was. He started moving his head left to right and then went round in circles as he desperately tried to work out where his mate was calling from. Lol I am a cruel bastard ain’t I? Tee hee

Some cyborgs try going bimodal, that is wearing an aid in the other ear. Depending on how much you hear in that ear, determines the outcome. For me, it was a no brainer, the CI out performs my aid in every aspect. It’s like trying to compare apples and oranges, the aid stands no chance if you hear shite out of it.

So give me another CI any day. I’d bite your hand off for it!

Happy Christmas.