Saturday, 19 June 2010

Deaf as a door knob.


I had another hearing test done the other day. And if you look at the above audiogram, I think it's safe to say, I'm officially deaf as a doorknob.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. In fact, Ive done both over the last decade.

I find this acquired deafness thing pretty hard to deal with. For we take our hearing for granted, and I had no idea of what was to come. Plunging into a world of profound deafness, is in my opinion finding yourself shovelled into a corner, where you just sit and watch while the world laughs without you.

Being profoundly deaf made day-to-day living a nightmare. Tinnitus was especially challenging, from quiet chirping to jet engine roaring I found this really distracting. And the idea of it staying with me till I kicked the bucket, messed with my head big time. I've had 10 years to get used to this, and basically you're stuck with it.

Communicating with hearing folk has been a question of ' Let me control this, otherwise I'm out of here'. I guess, looking back I came across as blunt and abrupt, and it doesn't take a genius to see why. However hearing people generally never understand the issues we face when they talk to us. From reading their lips in a darkened room to the dinner party hell scenario, we have it doubly hard. So, I prefer the life of a hermit. lol

What I hear through my digital hearing aids has a lot to be desired now. Speech is often squeaky and garbled. I don't even attempt to listen without lip-reading. It's self-defeating to be honest. The only benefit I get, from these hearing aids is hearing most environmental sounds.

I thought about having a CI for sometime. I was actually against having one too. I didn't think I was deaf enough for one. However, on hearing more and more 'success' stories, I've come round full circle and actually embraced the idea of having a CI now, although with some trepidation.

It's the last option I have..


4 comments:

  1. The CI is a better option than a hearing aid, that's for sure! As for "hearing most environmental sounds" - you're going to be sooooo surprised when you're activated! I thought I was doing well with hearing aids. Now I know what I've been missing all my life and I wish I'd got my CI earlier. Good luck.

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  2. Hi Tina,

    Thanks for that.
    And hoping voices sound more normal and clear to you very soon:)

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  3. Hey, yeah, its bollox eh!! I am so with you on being shoved in a corner and watching , so hard.
    Does yer head in. Yup C.I is the way. I am new to this too only since before xmas been thinking about it and now it happening, woohoo! but freaking scary. We have nothing to loose by doing this.

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  4. Hey just came upon your blog when I saw your audio chart and thought it was badly cropped of but then I realized that was your WHOLE chart. Sorry to hear about your hearing loss and was curious to how your doing now and if you had C.I. done yet? Myself I'm in between moderate to severely deaf and have been that way my whole life. Didn't fit in the deaf society or the hearing world really. Wear two aids and always try to get the latest even if it's a tiny bit better. C.I. will be of not benefit to me but I have seen wonders for the profoundly deaf.
    Cheers!
    See any good "deaf as a doorknob" logos lately, great idea for t-shirts.

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